Anger – Pitfalls & Advantages
We’ve all experienced the emotion of anger at one time or another.
It’s a natural part of being human.
Today, I’m going to be discussing the pitfalls and the advantages of anger.
Anger is an emotion that is considered both acceptable and unacceptable in our society.
For example, when someone is grief stricken, especially if that person is a guy, an expression of anger is often more accepted by his friends than desperate sobbing.
On the comedy “That 70s Show
,” there’s an episode when Eric’s (the main character’s) grandmother passes away.
Eric’s mom tells him about the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
But his stern dad comically interrupts saying, “This family only has two stages: anger and drinking.”
It’s all played for laughs, but ultimately everyone in the family has to go through all five stages before they can heal.
Another event that happens in that episode is Eric gets involved in a bar fight.
His inability to cope and express himself in any other way but anger leads him to lash out physically at complete strangers.
In real life, this could’ve resulted in a criminal assault charge.
Not an outcome I imagine any of us want.
At the top of the scale at number one are the enjoyable states of joy, appreciation, empowerment, freedom and love.
And at the bottom of the scale at number twenty-two are the undesirable states of fear, grief, depression, despair and powerlessness.
At number seventeen, anger isn’t near as bad as despair.
When we think about a person in despair, we think about someone who has totally given up in life.
Anger, by contrast, means you’re still willing to fight for something you believe in.
If you’re going through a difficult and painful event, staying angry often feels better than giving into sorrow does.
It may make you feel more in control to remain pissed off, even if that means you’re yelling and screaming more than you usually do.
And I get it.
Giving into the emotion of sorrow and letting yourself express it is highly uncomfortable to most of us.
We’ll often go to great lengths to avoid crying about something.
So you may be asking, “Jeannie, feeling sad sucks so why should I let go of my anger if it makes me feel strong?”
And the truth is, you don’t have to.
You have free will and can do whatever you want, with certain consequences.
But here’s the thing…
Anger is one of those wolf in sheep’s clothing emotions.
You’ll never heal and find peace in your life until you let go of your anger enough to experience the emotion lying underneath it.
“But that feels awful, Jeannie!”
Not gonna lie – it may.
But that awfulness will be temporary.
Allowing yourself to feel the disappointment of a dream crashing and burning is not pleasant, but it is necessary for you to move on.
For you to go forward.
And I think if you’re really honest with yourself, you do want to heal.
Anger may feel better than despair, but you know what feels better than anger?
Most other emotions.
Doubt feels better.
Blame feels better.
Frustration feels better.
And of course, contentment feels better.
Happiness feels better.
Joy, love and appreciation all feel way better.
So that’s why.
Sometimes the only way out is through.
You may have to move through anger to sorrow and grief.
You may have to move through tears and depression.
You’ll have to move through your fears to make the progress you so wish you could make.
Yes, it may hurt.
Yes, it may scare the shit out of you.
But being willing to look those scariest of emotions in the eye and say, “Bring it on, bitch!” will free you like nothing else will.
It takes courage, and it takes strength.
But you can do it.
You can beat this situation and come out the winner in the end.
If you’re willing to have faith in yourself.
One thing I always suggest when going through any kind of emotional upheaval or turmoil is to get help.
Overcoming tough times is so much easier with professional support.
Whether you see a counselor, a mental health expert or a life coach can make the difference between succeeding more quickly or suffering longer than you have to.
Often the deepest types of blocks are caused by an underlying pain that hasn’t been sufficiently dealt with.
Reach out and get the help you need.
If my message resonates with you, I invite you to work directly with me.
- What short term and long term goals you’d like to reach
- I will diagnose the biggest obstacles I believe are standing in your way
- I’ll explain what you should focus on based on what you share with me, my training and my experience
- I’ll then share a strategy and next steps for you to take going forward
- And I’ll give you my honest opinion on how far you can go based on your goals
This will be my commitment to you based on our conversation.
By the end of our call, you’ll be crystal clear on whether or not my program is right for you.
And, you won’t feel any doubts or fears because you’ll know what steps to take with confidence.
There’s also no obligation tied to this call, it’s just the next step in finding out if I can help you.
If this sounds good to you, hit the link
in the show notes to schedule your thirty minute mini-session.
If you’re listening to this, there is a reason.
I believe there are no coincidences.
Anytime you need help, help will come.
Or maybe if you don’t believe this message was meant for you, it can help someone you know.
If you think anyone out there might be suffering or struggling in some way, please share this podcast with them.
My goal is to make a positive difference in the lives of others, even if it means directing them to someone other than myself.
Because you are so much more than this emotion that’s been weighing you down.
I know you are capable and strong, even when you’re not angry.
So take a chance on yourself.
Invest in yourself.
And speaking of empowerment, May you always have an empowered day, week, month and year!