The Importance of Asking the Right Questions
On a recent Facebook Live of mine, I discussed how we use questions to either make ourselves feel better or make ourselves feel worse.
You can check out my other videos on my YouTube channel.
A lot of the time when something goes wrong in our lives, we ask ourselves the wrong questions:
- Why am I so stupid?
- Why can’t I ever get things right?
- What is wrong with me?
- Why do bad things always happen to me?
These sorts of questions only bring up the most negative of answers. They don’t help us come up with solutions, only more problems.
But if you ask smart, positive questions, it makes your brain and your thoughts work for you rather than against you:
- What great thing is coming my way today?
- How can I work at my highest efficiency today?
- How can it get any better than this?
- What will help me figure this out?
- How can I make this day wonderful?
- What can I do to feel good today?
- How can I make someone I love smile today?
Your brain is always going to be working on whatever questions you pose to it, so why not have it work on something that will make you happier, more peaceful and more productive?
Law of Attraction on Asking Questions
The Law of Attraction teaches us that the Universe is a mirror.
Whatever energy you send out comes back to you.
So if you’re spending a lot of time focusing on what is wrong with you or on any mistakes you might’ve made, your brain is going to get really good at showing you more of that.
As Master Life Coach Brooke Castillo says, you get really good at whatever you practice.
So if you’ve spent your entire life up to this point looking for ways to belittle and chastise yourself, you’re probably super awesome at that now.
But you can use that mirror effect to your benefit, too.
If you practice asking yourself good questions – the kind that lead to solutions rather than you ending up just feeling really shitty – than you’ll get good at that instead.
Practice makes perfect, right?
Check out my previous post/podcast discussing that very topic.
NLP Perspective on Asking Questions
NLP or neuro linguistic programming offers a similar perspective.
If you take responsibility for your thoughts by focusing on good questions rather than those that only lead into a deep dark hole of despair, you will feel more empowered and confident in general.
That was the subject of my last podcast, btw. Check out the link in the show notes.
So let’s practice with some areas of your life that may be causing you some trouble.
“Why do I always have to suck at math?” can turn into, “What can I understand better about math today?”
“Why do I always get overlooked for promotions at work?” can turn into, “What can I improve about my productivity that’ll allow me to get noticed?”
“Why can’t I get this business off the ground?” can turn into, “What new strategies can I learn to get more traction in my business?”
“Why do all my relationships turn to crap?” can be, “How can I learn to trust my instincts more when I meet someone promising?” Or, “What can I do to communicate better with my significant other?”
The Universe – and your brain – are funny, curious things.
Every time you ask a question, you brain goes into overdrive trying to find you an answer.
The same is happening with the Universe.
Every question you send out will get some sort of response.
So if you want positive, inspired, helpful responses, make sure you’re asking the right type of questions.
If you feel like you’ve been asking questions but haven’t received any answers, it’s probably because you don’t recognize those answers when they come.
The Universe communicates in various ways, but rarely is it in the form of a cloud with a booming voice or a burning bush.
It may be in a song you’re listening to. (This happens to be all the time.)
I’ll be upset and asking God to show me the way, and suddenly my playlist or radio will randomly go to a song about trust and faith.
Gives me chills every time.
Or maybe it’ll be something someone says to you.
You’ll be fretting about this issue at work, and your kid will tell you something that happened in school that day that’ll totally give you an idea for a solution.
Or you’ll be in transition.
I’m there right now, so I can absolutely relate.
Transition is a place that NLP teaches us exists between our present state (where we are now) and our desired state (where we want to be.)
Inevitably, any time you go through a transition, you will experience struggles and a state of crisis.
For me, that tends to mean fear and panic.
For example, right now I’m in the process of getting my business solvent enough for me to do it full time and leave my day job.
Since every time I’ve tried to go into business for myself has always led to failure, I’ve really had to work at keeping a positive mindset this time around.
I’ve been focusing all my efforts on seeing the happy successful me of the future. The one that is gainfully self employed, confident, helping others full time and loving it.
And one essential part of reaching that is asking the right questions.
Instead of saying, “Why does this have to be so hard and complicated?” I’ll say, “What new skill or strategy can I learn about today?”
I know I’m not going to be some entrepreneurial genius overnight.
Building a successful business takes time, energy, tenacity and resources.
It takes persistence and consistency.
It takes being willing to put yourself out there.
It takes being willing to make a fool of yourself and maybe to fall flat on your face.
It takes patience and understanding.
It means being gentle with yourself when you make mistakes.
It means taking daily inspired action – even if that action is small.
So next time you find yourself questioning your own motives or beating yourself up, stop.
Tell yourself that everything is or will be okay.
Give yourself a hug and say, “I love you!”
And mean it!
And ask the kind of questions that will lead you down the path you’ve always dreamed of being on.
Mentioned in this broadcast: Pat Flynn’s Amazing Free Videos on How to Create a Podcast
Thanks so much for listening!