Commitment: Podcast 029
So I’m someone who is pretty good at commitment.
I used to honor those commitments mostly when they involved someone else, though.
Like my marriage, for example. I’m very very good at being committed to my husband. We’ve been married for twenty-one awesomely blissful years.
I took the vows I said at our wedding so seriously. And when I made that commitment, I never looked back.
I honestly think that’s part of why our marriage is so beautiful and so successful. We both made commitments to each other that we’ve kept.
Of course the fact that we’re madly in love helps, too. We are so good for each other and so compatible. We talk all the time about everything. We are extremely honest with each other.
We have similar senses of humor and enjoy being goofy together, too. Having fun in life is essential, I think.
But I believe the strongest part of our relationship is the fact that giving up on one another never enters our minds.
Before we got married, we spent six years in a long distance relationship. I can’t tell you how many times I’d hear a love song on the radio and burst into tears because I missed him so much.
It sucked at the time, but now, I’m actually kinda grateful for that time.
Not because we were apart, but because we spent a lot of time thinking about each other. We pined for each other. And once we were able to be together, we didn’t dare take one another for granted.
We knew all too well what it felt like to have the person we loved most be absent from our life. So once that marriage commitment was made, it was forever.
It still is.
The strange thing I see in other relationships is how many people are unwilling to really commit to someone else. Some hardship pops up, and so quickly, they break up.
Maybe it’s because they blame each other for that hardship. Maybe they fear the other person will break their heart so they hurry to do it first – which to me doesn’t sound any better.
The thing a commitment does – a real one, that’s absolutely sincere – is it takes away all other options.
Have a fight? Breaking up isn’t an option, so you figure out how to work it out. How to forgive whatever slight you felt you’ve received.
Do you get angry?
Are you upset at the time?
But you also know deep down that quitting isn’t an option. So you move forward from there.
During the six years my husband and I dated, never once did we discuss breaking up. We never even brought up the concept. It never crossed our minds.
Because from the moment we fell in love (our second date), I believe both of us made each other a priority. That grew into such an intense commitment that going to different schools and colleges didn’t deter us.
Over those years we got together as often as we could, realizing this was the real thing and we were in it for the long haul. Long before we ever stood in front of our loved ones and said those vows, our commitment had been made.
Commitments are important in our relationships, but they can be important to other aspects of our lives, as well.
Our willingness to commit to our goals is something you hear a lot about today. Anytime I’m on social media I see lots of goal worksheets and planning.
And those are great. Planning is something that I’m attempting to do right now, even though it doesn’t come that naturally to me.
My coach and mentor Betsy Pake suggests planning in small, sometimes little bitty baby steps to meet even the biggest of goals. And I love that. It’s been very doable and effective for me.
But what I want you to consider committing to today is yourself. Like I mentioned before, it tends to be easy for me to make commitments involving others. But committing to something just for myself?
Not so much.
Until recently, I don’t think I really valued myself much. I didn’t see myself as important enough to commit to.
But now I realize that kind of thinking is detrimental. Sure, there are lots of people and things that are important out there. But why can’t I be one of those?
Committing to myself is probably be the most important commitment I can make because without that, I may not have enough courage to live my best life.
How about you?
What are your commitments in this very moment?
Your significant other?
Are you committed to yourself first?
I ask this question because if we don’t commit to ourselves, going after our dreams can easily be sidetracked.
Maybe your dream is to be a successful bestselling novelist. You start out okay, maybe even get published, but then things seem to stagnate.
Your inspiration flies out the window because other things in your life push it out of the way. And suddenly, it’s weeks or months or years later. You wonder what ever happened to that beautiful bestselling dream you had.
Or maybe you want to lose weight. And you do. For a while. You’ll lose ten or twenty or even fifty pounds. But then you lose your motivation.
It’s Christmas and there’s sugary things tempting you everywhere you look. You become too busy to do that workout you once did so regularly. And when you get on a scale, you’re devastated to see the result.
Or maybe you’ve decided to make a career change. Your create a kickass resume or start the groundwork for an awesome business.
You go along great for a while. You get called for interviews or your new business website starts getting noticed.
But then you don’t get called back for an actual new job or your website stops getting attention.
What went wrong?
Usually at this point we all begin to doubt ourselves and worse, we tend to rake ourselves over the coals for it.
Stupid me, that novel is just sitting half finished in my laptop. Guess I’m not a writer after all – and I’m certainly never going to be a bestseller.
Stupid me, I know I shouldn’t eat all those sweets. Now I’ll never reach my goal weight.
Stupid me, I must not be worthy of a new job. I thought I was qualified enough to leave the sucky job I have now, but there must be something wrong with me.
I thought I’d be able to start my own business but no one is noticing me. I must not be doing this right. Guess I’ll stick to what I know even though it’s not all that fulfilling.
We undervalue ourselves. Over and over we allow fear and doubt to rob us of our joy and our birthright. We were born to succeed! To thrive! To triumph!
But success doesn’t often come without falling down once and a while. And success often doesn’t come without believing in ourselves.
That’s where commitment comes in.
When everything seems to go against us, that’s when it’s the most important for us to stand our ground.
Or maybe we’ve fallen. Hard. That’s the most important time to get back up.
So what if you haven’t written in a while. Take a deep breath. Know in your gut you can do this. Know that you are a brilliant creator, and a spiritual being made of love, light and inspiration. And go back to your laptop.
So what if you gained back ten of the thirty pounds you lost. Believe your body is beautiful at any weight. Know you deserve to be fit and healthy. Know you can make up for lost time. Make better choices with your eating and fitness regimen.
All is not lost! All is never lost!
So what if you didn’t get called back for more – or even any – interviews. The problem is not you – it never is. The problem is more likely to be your resume or where you’re applying or your mindset when you applied. Believe you are valuable. Believe you are worthy. Believe you’re a badass that any company would be lucky to have.
Because you are!
Now, redo your resume and go apply to more places.
So what if your new business website isn’t getting the traction or traffic you wanted. Google website traffic to get help or better yet, check out Ryan Biddulph’s blog. He has so much blogging and business advice that you’ll have more than enough to choose from. The dude’s got more than one hundred ebooks on Amazon for God’s sake!
So many times I hear or see people praying for help. But when actual offers of help present themselves, they’re not acted on. Even when that help if offered freely sometimes.
Be willing to see help when it is offered.
Have a friend whose asked you to lunch who has their own business? Guess what, that was an answer to your prayer!
Did you see an interesting person with a unique appearance or personality walking through your neighborhood or local shopping center? There’s some inspiration for your novel!
Did you see this cool new recipe for some tasty-looking new low carb dinner on Facebook? There’s an answer for how to get your weight loss back on track.
We’re receiving answers from the Universe and God all the time! Like all the time!
But you have to be willing to see them as the answers you’re looking for.
Trust me, they’re pretty unlikely to appear in the form of a burning bush. But that doesn’t mean they aren’t the answers you prayed or asked for.
So commit to yourself and trust the Universe and God to support that commitment. And a year from now, you’ll be amazed at how far you’ve come!
Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to all my listeners!
What are your hopes and dreams for 2018? Whatever they are, share them in the comments!
Click here to start the process and as always, gave a great day, week, month and year!
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